


Hedging Bets, or How to be a Loser and Still Win

by ukelala



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Anal Sex, But they are doing it wrong, House Cleaning, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1934484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukelala/pseuds/ukelala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Way back, like a million years ago, there was an Live Journal Tiger & Bunny Kink Meme that didn't suck.  Then they <strike>destroyed</strike> updated LJ, and I never went back to post this.  </p><p>Dear anonymous request poster, this was in response to "Barnaby in nothing but his sexy red boots."  It requested several times over the course of the meme, so I hope there's a few folks out there who will enjoy this.</p><p>* * *</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hedging Bets, or How to be a Loser and Still Win

Kotetsu is on his hands and knees in the shower.

He’s in nothing but an apron.

“Missed a spot.” Barnaby gestured from his seat on the sink, pointing with his toe, in that damnable red boot of his. Kotetsu sighs and scrubs the faucet with something that foams like crazy and burns his nose.

How did I get myself into this…? Kotetsu reflects on the events of the past few days. 

* * *  
Agnes marched in to the workout room, smiling like a well fed shark. Honestly, it kind of terrified Kotetsu when she looked that way. He slid the weights on his machine to their resting state.

“Bonjour, Heroes!” she began, and waited until all eyes were on her. “We will be having Sternbild’s First Annual Hero TV Auction for Charity this Wednesday. Do your best to raise lots of money; the hero who earns the most will receive 500 points. Not only do you save the city from criminals, but you direct funds to help the needy! Wonderful, don’t you think? “ She said that last part with a wink that made Kotetsu curious… there had to be something in this for her, or the show. Agnes was a complicated woman, and many words could describe her. Charitable was not one of those words.

“What a wonderful idea indeed. I shall raise money, and raise money again! What are we to sell?” 

“We’re offering a single date with each of you heroes. Of course, we’ll film the whole thing, so you underage Heroes won’t be taken advantage of. Be here at 7:00, and wear your standard costumes. We’ll provide appropriate formalwear for your dates.” Still smiling, she left the room before any of the Heroes could protest.

The look on Pao Lin’s face was priceless. Karina opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and made some sort of squeak, before huffing and leaving the room.

“Oh, I’m not nearly ready for a date… Pao Lin, honey, why don’t you go after Karina and we’ll all go get our nails done?” Nathan sashayed out of the room, but not before helping himself to squeezing a handful of Antonio’s ass. A disgruntled sigh was Antonio’s only response. He shot Kotetsu a look, and went to hit the showers.

The air hung heavy with silence for a moment, then a voice-

“I have not been on a date. What does one do exactly? Any pointers would be most helpful!”

Barnaby shot a look of disbelief around the room before settling his eyes on Keith. “It’s not like you’re going to even know the person you get stuck with. Just grin and bear it, they’ll probably do most of the fangirling, er, talking. It’s just like any other publicity event.” A few beeps signaled the start of the treadmill, and the end of his participation in the conversation.

Ivan pouted at this response. “Hey, come over to my place! I have lots of video games about dating; I bet they’ll give you some ideas on how to act. You can consider it training. And, it’s fun, de gozaru.“

The King of Heroes nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Origami. I am in your debt.” The two of them filed out, animatedly chattering as Ivan pulled out his very well used Game Boy Color with a very well used eroge game. Mr. Goodman would be a very different person from now on.

Bunny kept a punishing pace at the treadmill, his cheeks flushed red, but with a very angry look on his face. Kotetsu grabbed a towel and slung it across his shoulders, ready for the day to be done already.

“Oi, Bunny.”

Barnaby kept running.

“Bunny, what’s with that look? You don’t have to run so hard.” Kotetsu stood in front of the treadmill, stupidly smiling at Barnaby. Barnaby looked right through him, lost in thought.

“Ok, practice is over! Don’t overdo it.” Kotetsu pulled the emergency stop wire attached to the cuff on Barnaby’s wrist. The sudden stop sent Barnaby crashing into the front of the treadmill, and into Kotetsu’s arms.

“Ne, you listening now, Bunny?”

Barnaby punched him in the ribs. “Old man, are you trying to kill your partner? I won’t sell well if I’m maimed,” he said with a petulant pout.

“Maybe that’s my plan? It won’t be so bad. It’s only one night, and it’s on camera so no funny stuff. It’s not like we’re not used to hiding this by now.” Kotetsu kissed the end of Barnaby’s nose as an apology. When he pulled back, Barnaby still had that sour look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I… don’t want to share you.” Barnaby mumbled under his breath.

Kotetsu laughed heartily. “Is that all? Don’t worry, lil’ Bunny, no one will whisk me away! I should be the one worried about you! You have some crazy fans out there; they might just try to keep you. Oh, I know how to make this fun!”

Barnaby eyed him suspiciously.

“Let’s make a bet! If I earn more money than you, you have to w---“

“ _When_ I win, Old Man, you are going to clean that nasty apartment of yours, so we don’t have to stay at my place all the time... “

“Oh, that’s not so bad at all,” Kotetsu thought. Barnaby must have seen the relief on his face, because he continued, “… and you’ll do it under my supervision, wearing nothing but an apron.”

“Oh, so that’s the way it is, then? Well, when I win, I want y-“

“I don’t even need to hear it, Kotetsu. I won’t lose to you.” The gaze over those glasses was deadly serious, if not a bit coy.

He slunk gracefully out of Kotetsu’s embrace and off to the showers. Kotetsu dumbly watched him walk away, happy that Bunny wasn’t going to mope, and even more happy about the view at that particular moment. He grabbed his things and hurried after his partner, but not before scrawling a note and hastily shoving it in his locker.

* * *  
The auction was certainly a major event, full of upper- crust folk, well-to-dos, and… lots of people more important than Wild Tiger. Kotetsu tuned it out, only paying attention when it was his turn.

Barnaby and Wild Tiger were to be auctioned simultaneously. Bidders were given little red and green cards to avoid confusion. Agnes told them that she hoped the excitement of bidding for Barnaby would work up the Tiger crowd, and maybe they’d spend a little extra. Or, in a moment of panic, they’d hold up the wrong card and bid for Tiger accidentally. Kotetsu had laughed it off at the time, but was he really that undesirable? He was a sexy beast, damn it! He tried to channel said “sexy beast” as he posed, posturing and making silly growly sounds. Barnaby caught his gaze and rolled his eyes. He mouthed “silly old man” with such a sexy smile, it made Kotetsu go stupid and forget his antics, which turned out to be an improvement. The bidding started slow for Tiger… it was mostly old women, winking at him and fanning themselves whenever he looked their way. Barnaby fared much better, and Kotetsu felt a little pang of jealousy at all the ridiculously beautiful women bidding on his Bunny. The air was thick with excitement as the bidding became more and more heated… and then a lull came. The auctioneers were calling once, twice… Kotetsu was hundreds of thousands of Stern dollars behind Barnaby (he was secretly impressed at how small that gap was, compared to what he thought it would be)… when Agnes stood up. 

“Three million dollars for the pair.” She was taking a proxy bid by phone.

Bidding closed promptly--- both heroes’ dates bought by a Mr. Nathan Seymour of Helios Energy.

* * *

The date wasn’t bad. Nathan took them to an impressively expensive restaurant, then to a casino on a riverboat. He was a perfect gentleman, except for the two handed ass-grab he treated himself to when the cameras weren’t rolling… or were they? They both owed at least that much to their friend, saving them from who knows what. The bet would have been as good as forgotten the next day if it wasn’t for that note in Kotetsu’s locker. Upon seeing it, he decided to press his luck. 

“Hey, Bunny… I didn’t lose to you at the auction. I guess I get to make my demands now, eh?”

Barnaby looked annoyed, and … curious? “Well, you didn’t win either, and I was responsible for driving the price that high anyway. I could say with certainty that he paid two million for me, and only one for you. I still win, Old Man.”

Nathan drifted in at that very moment.

“Oh, Handsome, I don’t think you need to worry about carving it up. You earned it as a team, equal partners. They split the points in half, so you share the price equally as well. Besides, Tiger here is a fine vintage…” Nathan reached around from behind and thoroughly groped Tiger’s chest and hips, and pressed a playful kiss on his cheek. Speechless, Kotetsu blushed bright red in surprise.

Barnaby was fuming as Nathan waltzed away, and it had nothing to do with their silly wager.

“Fine, it was a tie. But if I lost, then you did to. You still have to clean your place in an apron. What did you want me to do? And don’t make it worse now, just because you think you have some power over me, because you don’t. “ Bunny crossed his arms, and waited for the older man’s answer. In response, Kotetsu handed him the paper.

“I wrote this down last week, so you wouldn’t think I cheated.” He has such a dumb smile on his face, stupid old man.

Barnaby read the note written on the back of Kotetsu’s Monday lunch receipt. His eyes narrowed as he looked up.  
“You’re a pervert.”

* * *  
Ah, so that’s how it went. All those cleaning supplies must be making him woozy. This was, after all, the last room in the house. It was all worth it though, for this--- Barnaby Brooks, Jr. was allowed to wear his shoes in Kotetsu’s Japanese home.  
But only his shoes.

So there he sat, on the bathroom sink, with nothing but a towel between him and the cool stone counter, nonchalantly supervising Kotetsu’s house cleaning. Kotetsu couldn’t help but be impressed at the blonde’s composure over the indignity of it all. Kotetsu, on the other hand, felt incredibly silly, and more than once he was thoroughly aroused as his partner uncrossed his legs, or sighed, or did anything at all. How is it that Barnaby looked so, so… unaffected? 

Sighing, Kotetsu completed his final task by combating the slow shower drain (He suspected the problem was blonde in nature….) with some sort of chemical that assured it would do a super! job of clearing the pipes. He stood up and wiped his brow with a gloved hand. He turned around in the tiny bathroom to face his partner. 

“All done. Can we do it now?” Kotetsu asked with an eager look on his face, “I mean, that’s my reward for finishing, right?”

“You have no tact at all old man, and no, you still have to clean yourself,” Barnaby said dryly.

Kotetsu took the fastest shower of his life.

He stepped out, dripping wet, and reached for the towel, which wasn’t there. Barnaby was still sitting on it… he picked the blonde up bodily to remove the towel, but the skin on wet skin contact seemed to break the mask of composure Barnaby had been wearing all day. A sigh of pleasure escaped his lips as the younger man wrapped his arms around those strong, tan shoulders… followed by perfect legs wrapping themselves around his hips.

“Eh? Reconsider my offer so soon?” 

Barnaby gave him a playfully scolding look. “You’re getting my boots wet. They’re leather, and I know you can’t afford to buy me a new pair on your pa-

The best way to shut him up was to kiss him. This was a fact that Kotetsu had tested many times. He easily slipped his tongue inside that welcoming mouth. Any further complaints Barnaby had prepared were silenced.

Barnaby broke the kiss only long enough to gasp for air in the steamy room before returning to his hungry assault on his partner’s lips. He moved a hand to brush away drops of water that clung to that stupid, adorable, stupid beard. Should’ve bet him to shave it off… He pushed the thought aside and kissed deeper, running his tongue along the inside of teeth that weren’t his, tentatively searching a tongue that moved to a will other than his own. He felt like he was drowning in this other man, breathing him in, surrounded by him.

Kotetsu’s instincts took over; his rough hands roving over that perfect pale body, claiming each part of it as if he needed to memorize its every curve by touch alone. He slid the other man against himself until he could feel his hard length press against the cleft of that perfect ass, just a tease for what would come. Barnaby moaned loudly at the sensation and buried his head against Kotetsu’s shoulder, hiding the blush that crept across his face at the shameful sound of it echoing in the bathroom. He felt the darker man chuckle silently, until he gasped as Barnaby bit his collarbone, sucking wet kisses along the skin that still tasted ever so faintly of soap.

The towel now completely forgotten, water slunk along the sinews of tan flesh to join rapidly spreading pools on the floor. Kotetsu tightened his embrace on the younger man; he enjoyed the hot skin against skin, the cool leather boots against his backside, and his Bunny’s cock growing hard between their stomachs. Especially that last part. He leaned forward until the blonde was resting on the towel again, and groped blindly around the medicine cabinet, knocking bottles aside, sending their contents clattering to the floor before he grabbed the lube from the top shelf.

“You keep that in your medicine cabinet?! What if Kaede finds it?

“She’s not tall enough to reach that high. Less talking.” Kotetsu supplemented his suggestion with a particularly feral kiss, biting his lower lip and growling lightly against it. 

Kotetsu’s throaty purrs always gave Barnaby goose bumps, and he shuddered in spite of the strong, warm arms wrapped around him. The chill worked its way down his spine and ended in a hard grind of his hips against Kotetsu’s incredible stomach. Another echoing moan and he felt his cheeks flush anew. What was there to be embarrassed about? With no clothes on the floor or towels littered all over the place, every sound echoed tenfold… he could hear every smack of their lips… the snap of the lube opening… the wet sound of Kotetsu slicking it on his fingers. It all sounded so dirty, and so hot. Gazing into those caramel eyes, half lidded in pleasure, he heard the finger gently slide in him, followed by another, stretching him… those hot fingers felt so good, they found that spot so fast. He muffled his moaning into that strong shoulder. He could hear the heavy breaths that Kotetsu drew as he concentrated on working deep into him, stretching him and teasing more sound from his lips.  
“Bunny, are you ready for me?” Kotetsu rasped as pressed his face into that pale shoulder, biting down and marking him, his Bunny. Drops of cool water tricked down his back from Kotetsu’s hair. They unfairly chose a path down the middle of his ass, tickling, making the blonde man buck against the fingers inside him.

He gasped, squirming against the stimulation. “Oh God, Kotetsu, please…” He grabbed a handful of those damp locks and pulled himself closer to his lover. 

He closed his eyes and let himself feel the talented fingers fucking him, and he bit his finger and mumbled incoherently, punctuated by delicious moans. Kotetsu began to writhe against him, and Barnaby encouraged him with eager whimpers and squeezing him with his legs. He slid his fingers slowly free and Bunny protested the loss, grinding himself against the other man’s stomach. Kotetsu let his hands linger on that perfect ass until he pushed Barnaby’s back up against the wall. Green eyes opened wide and he gasped as the cold surface shocked his naked skin, damp from the humid air. Kotetsu abused his sensitive nipple, pinching hard and making Barnaby’s wails sing off the sparking clean ceiling. His other hand slicked on more lube, then guided his dick against that welcoming opening. He pushed inside teasingly slowly, Barnaby positively yowling.

“Ko. Ohh, oh…!” Barnaby could not form words if he wanted to at that moment. He bit his lip, and closed his eyes again, listening his sharp, blissful wails mingle with Kotetsu’s deeper, animal sounds. Barnaby reached down to touch himself, but the darker man pinned his hands against the wall, fingers entwining with his as he began his practiced rhythm, pushing hard against the spot that would have made Bunny claw up his back til it bled. With no other outlet, Barnaby resorted to groaning in pleasure, a mix of shrill and throaty sounds that would have had the neighbors banging on the wall in protest.

Thank God they were not home.

Kotetsu kept his head down, watching Bunny’s cock bob with each thrust, slick with precome and aching to be touched.  
“Bunny. You are. Incredible,” he breathed, his voice unreliable. Eyes like emeralds watched him lustily as he leaned his head forward to kiss his partner’s neck, and pushed fully into him, pinning Bunny against the wall as he shifted, peeling the damp leather-clad calf away from his skin. He slung one of those impossibly long legs over his shoulder, booted foot in midair over his back. Rough fingers now assaulted pert pink nipples as he slammed his cock into that most sensitive spot again and again. Barnaby yelped and clutched the towel rack for support. One pale graceful leg dangled bonelessly with toes just touching the ground as his other hand released darted out, grasping at the shower’s edge and becoming entangled in the curtain.  
Barnaby was lost to the moment; the pulse pounding in his brain keeping time with Kotetsu pounding inside his body. Echoing resonance in the room melted each ecstatic moan into the next, melding into an aria most perverse. “Gonna come, fuck, Tiger…” Words stopped existing as the wave of pleasure crept over his body, tingling in the base of his spine. Eyes went wide as a hand clamped tightly around the base of his cock, turning the precipice of pleasure to an agonizingly enjoyable torture. 

Barnaby screamed.

“Not without me, partner.” There was a devilish grin in Kotetsu’s voice. 

He reached out hastily to grasp a tan shoulder, to claw it and tear it and make it pay for his glorious, suffering anticipation. Bunny instead succeeded in ripping the shower curtain off the hooks, off balancing himself and driving himself down harder on the cock inside him. The world was dark and spinning around the edges as he helplessly clung to Kotetsu with one leg, wordless and moaning and desperate.

The surprise shattered Kotetsu’s self control and he came deep inside his Bunny, thrusting hard and fast with each ebb and flow of pleasure. He wrapped his arms tight around his partner, releasing Bunny’s cock from its purgatory, releasing ribbons of white ecstasy that splattered between their taut stomachs, releasing wails of unrestrained joy that drown out the sound of the blood rushing around in his head.

Gasping to regain breath and sanity, Kotetsu looked into his lover’s eyes with concern. “You ok?”

“… Yeah,” he said with a contented smile. Barnaby clung to him, content in the afterglow. He uncurled his fingers and the shower curtain slid to the floor, into puddles of water and come and purple Children’s Dimetapp. As his world stopped spinning, he looked around the thoroughly ravaged room. 

“Erm, Kotetsu?”

“Mmmm, yeah, Bunny?

“Love, I think you have some more cleaning to do.”

“You’re helping this time.”

“Not in these boots….”

“Forget the boots.” 

Barnaby was gently set on the counter-towel, and in the sound of two zippers, Kotetsu was tossing the boots outside the bathroom door.

* * *

The neighbors heard the telltale creak of pipes as the next apartment’s shower turned on. They could hear Kotetsu giggling about something through the wall. Odd, it almost sounded like two men laughing. Curious.


End file.
